Sunday, August 7, 2016

A #JWRP Trip That Changed My Life Exponentially, part 3 of 3


I've never been to sleepaway camp, but this is the closest I've gotten to it. Eleven women felt like my "bunkmates," and 200 felt like my fellow campers. The only time I was alone during the entire 9 days was literally when I was in the bathroom. And I wouldn't want it any other way. These girls lifted us up all week and came to each other's rescue when one of us was down. We spoke in awe about the sites and the lessons we heard and we giggled like kids because we never felt freer. We thanked, over and over again, the people we met: the Israeli 5 on our bus, our fearless guides, and especially our madrich, Ben. One of our girls realized 5 minutes before getting on the plane to go home that she left her backpack somewhere. There were several personal items in the backpack, for example, her mother's siddur, her grandmother's headpiece that she wore to the Kotel, a blanket that had significant meaning, and her journal from the trip. After a few harrowing days of resorting to the fact that she would most likely never see those items again, Ben came to the rescue and found her bag! He drove an hour to get it and it will be brought back by one of the girls who lives in South Florida and who stayed in Israel a bit longer! Talk about an HP (higher power) moment! 

Day 5 Theme: Shabbat

Lori began our session on Friday morning talking about Shabbat (sabbath). She said that there is a misconception about Shabbat in that people think it's all about "not working." No, she said, "it's a time to stop creating to recognize our creator." She said we must disconnect in order to connect. When we wake up on Shabbat, she said, we will know that everything is a gift in our lives. She made a sweater analogy--basically that anyone could wear a sweater and get compliments on it, but when it is made for you (by Lori, haha) when she picks the fabric and sews it and then you wear it, it feels that much more special than if you purchased it in a store. She ended with reminding us that Shabbat is a time to process.

Then she introduced us to the incredible Canadian fashionista Adrienne Gold. Her video is a MUST to watch, especially if you have young girls, but it is incredible either way, and I am so grateful that it was live streamed. I am also grateful to have gone on this trip JUST to hear her speak!! Adrienne started by telling us a story of how she was an emcee at an event, and how she thought she looked fabulous. However, there was a woman that everyone was following and crowding around. She had to figure out who this woman, wearing pantyhose with open-toed shoes (a major fashion faux pas in her mind) was. All the women followed this woman in the bathroom, and Adrienne joked that she went into a stall and put her feet up on the toilet to figure it out...and it was Lori Palatnik. Adrienne's zest for life was emanated in her vibrant lesson about  Re-Claiming our Dignity: Women, Self-Esteem, and Beauty in the Glare of the Media. Some quick notes:
  • Beauty is only real when the inside and outside match (Judaism)
  • Wear attractive, not attracting clothes
  • If you spend one hour in the mirror, spend one hour and 5 minutes on the inside
Adrienne showed several images and video clips about the "perfect" body and face depicted by the media, and how to reclaim our dignity. It hit several of us hard, even not having daughters. I melted quite a bit.

Watch it below. Don't miss this.
Our next lecture was on challah baking, demonstrated by Raizy Guttman, the "Challah Lady." Raizy showed us several ways to shape challah, including braiding and making flowers. She talked about the mitzvah of separating and burning the challah. She said that women were given 3 special mitzvoth: mikvah, lighting Shabbat candles, and making challah. We would be doing 2 of those 3 today.


Next, we took a cab to the shuk, or marketplace. Our cab driver tried to overcharge us by quadrupling the amount, so we "what's app'd" with our group to make sure he indeed was overcharging us. We nervously left him double the amount (better than quadruple) and ran down the street laughing but a bit scared! It definitely made for a good story. 
In the back of the cab, where we were nervously trying to avoid getting swindled
The shuk was filled with such sites and smells of delicious foods. You could definitely use the sardine analogy in that it was jam-packed with people. Or the salmon analogy of swimming upstream. And there was definitely a lot of fish to be bought in this market! We held on to each other as we navigated rows and rows of spices, bread, cookies, and candies. We had a few petite members in our group, and I, being the tallest of this group of four, was asked to look over the heads of what felt like hundreds of people, to try to find others in the group, a place to have lunch, and a place to buy wine.


We found a fantastic Lebanese restaurant to have lunch, and I think this was my favorite meal of the trip. We learned that chicken skewers are different from chicken kebobs...who knew? And again enjoyed falafel, hummus, and Israeli salads.

An interesting tidbit that happened after lunch: my friend Suzy needed to use the bathroom in the restaurant. She said there was no lock, so we had to watch the door. Suzy is the cutest and is petite. When she got out, I went in and saw the lock right at eye level--it was one of those add-on locks not on the door handle. We had a good giggle when I told her that the lock was much higher up, and she did not see it. It made me think this was a good story to tell my students: that everything is based on perspective, and what one person sees, another person might not, and that it is up to us to help others to see what we see.

We leisurely walked back to the hotel with some foods and wine bottles in hand. Upon return, my friend Benay and I did pilates outside on the balcony of her room (she taught and it was awesome) and then we showered and got ready for Shabbat. Suzy did my hair, which was necessary AND fun!
Pre-Shabbat pose at the King Solomon Hotel
We walked back to the Old City and had a pre-Shabbat concert given by the coolest Chassid I have ever seen, surfer and classic rock lover Yom Tov Glaser. Click on the video to hear "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" and to watch the pre-Shabbat dancing.
Former surfer Yom Tov Glaser, courtesy of Aish.com
For those of you who know me, I am completely attached to my phone. For Shabbat, we put our phones in a bag and said goodbye to them for over 24 hours. This was very hard for me, but freeing as well. For 24 hours, we did not take pictures, so there are no pictures of anything for the rest of the night or for Day 6. We were also given a Shabbat lamp for our room and were told that elevators were set for Shabbat to stop at every floor.

We lit candles together by our groups, and then we head outside to the Kotel and danced for at least an hour. People not from JWRP joined in. It was festive and touching. Anything at the Kotel makes you buzz and feel like you are in a different world. I prayed once more at the wall, trying my hardest to remain calm when waiting in lines that felt like forever. It was a strange juxtaposition to be in when I was trying to be in a great place to pray and yet was frustrated by waiting for others to finish...it is something I am definitely working on...

Finally, we walked to the Inbal Hotel and had a wonderful Shabbat dinner that warmed our heart and made us feel like we were with family. And suddenly we realized, we now were.

Day 6 Theme: Harakat Hatov – Gratitude


Ahhh finally a day to sleep in! I woke my roommate Alison up and said, "Alison! It's 9:30 already!" She didn't believe we slept so long, so she picked up the phone to check the time with the front desk and then remembered it was Shabbat and hung up. We quickly got ready, I had my breakfast of shakshuka and Israeli salads, and we went downstairs to happily hear Adrienne Gold again, as she spoke of  “Jewish Values for Jewish Kids.”

We were not allowed to write because it was Shabbat, so I sadly can't remember a lot other than a few stories and Adrienne's wonderful sense of humor and ability to make us all laugh. What stood out in my mind is the story of her son, and how he left on his bicycle, angry with her. She was nervous and upset, but he finally returned with a Kurt Vonnegut book that he found at a store downtown ("He went downtown??!" She thought, but tried to remain calm). They had been looking for this book forever, and he had to come home because, as she said, "Ma, you would be the only one to appreciate that they had the book." She likened boys separating themselves from their mother to a hacksaw, and I can relate. Tears welled up as she spoke, yet my mouth was turned up in a smile, and I was nodding in agreement.

Her next story that resonated with my group was the story of Japanese pottery that had cracks. She explained how they had a method using a mixture of glue and gold to put the pottery back together. It looked so beautiful that people were actually breaking their pottery to use this resin to put it back together. She explained that sometimes things are more beautiful when broken and then "rerepaired," and how in Judaism, we learn about this principle: for example with the two tablets that Moses brought down or in the breaking of the wine glass at a wedding. She stated that in order for a person to achieve maturity, they need to understand that "things can be both broken and whole at the same time." See the video below, where the ever-inspiring Adrienne explains this beautifully and much better than I could ever put into words. 
Next, Rabbi Gavriel Friedman spoke to us about “Shabbat – Heaven on Earth.” Rabbi Friedman had an incredible way of mixing popular songs into his discussion that had us all laughing. His energy was contagious, and he even brought his wife and two-week old baby with him. I was shvitzing just watching him work so hard singing while explaining. His talk was as animated as any comedy show I have ever seen mixed in with Torah and Shabbat. For example, he would speak about Shabbat and then break into "Then we do it, we do it all again," from the Black Eyed Peas...but this would happen with just about every sentence. JWRP definitely found the most relatable speakers for us, and we couldn't get enough.

We broke for lunch where all groups went to different houses hosted by locals. Much of our bus was hosted by the Looks family, and their warmth was genuine. We bonded even more as we spoke about what one thing stood out to us so far about our trip. More tears flooded as honest stories came out - everyone has their own story, as we kept discovering. The food was delicious, and just when we thought we were done, there was another course. Salmon, chicken surrounded by mounds of rice, and beef (maybe in a date syrup?) came in two courses after salads, hummus, and a baked eggplant split and filled with tahini. Such Mediterranean goodness! 

We walked back to the hotel where some people took naps and relaxed. My roommate Alison and I discovered the rooftop pool, and we swam and sunned while overlooking the Old City. It was absolutely incredible, and we did not want the day to end.

We showered and got dressed to get ready for Havdalah but first we all met to "Stump the Rebbetzin," which was where we could ask all types of questions to a group of Rabbi's wives. 

We walked to the Aish building where Lori Palatnik spoke to us about “Four Things You Never Knew About Judaism." Again, we could not write yet, but the acronym we were told to think about was JAK-P. Here are some bullet points from her handout.
  • J - Judgment 
    • Pirkei Avot: "You can't judge another person until you've come to their way." Since this is impossible, you can never judge another person. You can judge actions, not people. 
    • The difference between Rosh Hashana and New Years is accountability. Accountability is good. We want G-d to judge us because it means that our actions count. 
    • G-d only compares you to YOU. He judges on how much you tried.
  • A - All or Nothing (this one really resonated with a lot of us)
    • Judaism is NOT all or nothing. We are not hypocrites, we are human. Do what you can, but you don't need to do it all--some is better than nothing. This made us feel better, for example, about keeping Shabbat. Perhaps we could start small, like by lighting candles and putting our phones away for the evening.
  • K - Knowledge
    • It's better to know and not do then not to know. G-d wants you to have the knowledge, even if you are not ready to put it into action.
  • P - Pleasure
    • The world is for us; for our pleasure
    • The opposite of pain is not pleasure, it's comfort. Our deepest, greatest pleasures in life come with effort and pain. Ex: self-growth, marriage, raising kids, etc. This one resonated with us, too, and reminded us of Adrienne's talk on cracks in the pottery!
I think it was here that Lori taught us tricks on how to remember the Ten Commandments; how did I never learn this before?

We had our small, third meal, or Seudah Shleshit and then walked up to the gorgeous rooftop of the Aish building for Havdala. A band was playing, and we got our phones back, which I missed a lot in the beginning, but was relieved not to have for a day. A friend from Stuart asked how I knew a Facebook friend we had in common...maybe this was earlier and I have my days mixed up...but we realized that my cousin is her sorority sister...and we heard this kind of thing over and over again on this trip.

We danced, and my favorite song (that Alison and I could not get out of our heads for days) was Salaam, or Od Yavo Shalom Aleinu. Below is a video of us dancing to the song. If I am ever down, I will definitely be watching this video. The view of the Kotel at night was breathtaking.


Finally, some of us did a little damage shopping in Mamilla Mall for a few hours, buying some gifts for friends and family. We ended the night with a toast to several of our Israeli friends back at the hotel. It was starting to hit us that the trip was almost over, and we decided to stay up and savor every moment. 

Day 7 Theme: Creating a Legacy


Today was a day to remember. We climbed Masada (via cable car), went to the Dead Sea, had fun on 
camel rides, danced to a Drum Circle in the Desert, had a festive dinner in Abraham and Sara’s Tent, and ended the night with a few of us going to Mamilla for dessert and drinks. Here are some pictures from all of the exciting events.












Day 8 Theme: Bringing it Home


We began our last day walking to the Old City with a stop at Aroma (as Bruchy said, who needs Starbucks?) and my friend Jacquie and I found the store Hadaya, where we found the perfect Hebrew phrases to be etched into a hammered bracelet. Though we did not come home with the bracelet that day, we know we will be jumping up and down when it does arrive--a little bit of Israel awaits us with our meaningful phrases that our individual hearts selected. 

We walked back to the Aish building, saw a Bar Mitzvah along the way, and then wrote a letter to ourselves, which will also be very exciting to receive in a few weeks.
A Bar Mitzvah boy under a chupa
We had an introduction to Israel Activism and talked about how to bring it all home. Our group planned to meet once a month, each of us taking ownership of a month. We decided our group would help Jewish women and that we were definitely going to give back and continue locally what JWRP taught us globally. I decided to co-advise the Jewish youth group at my school again with my friend Tammy, and I cannot wait to get started. 

We received wonderful gifts from JWRP - a book, a personalized siddur, and most of us bought pictures. Once home, my friend Karen posted this photo, where some of the items just mentioned were placed on her night table. Love.
We walked around a bit and did some more shopping, and then a few of us had a wonderful, relaxing and cool (it was so hot in Israel, even as a Florida girl!) lunch at The King David Hotel. I got (surprise!) hummus and falafel, and we enjoyed talking with our bus leader, Estee. She told us of some recent heartbreak, but how she was overcoming it. We could not have asked for a better time. 
We headed with our luggage to the Mega Event, or our Final Banquet, and our Palm Beach group sang a rendition of "Jacquie and Diane" (two girls on the trip who were roommates) to the tune of Jack and Diane as a tribute to Bruchy--pretty clear we never practiced, but it was fun!
At the Mega Event, we were able to buy items that the fashionistas were selling. We sat at our table, feeling very much like we were at a wedding. Several people spoke, perhaps the most moving of which was Mindy Scheier, who collaborated with Tommy Hilfiger to create clothes for differently-abled children. We listened to a fabulous all-female Israeli band, and the trip was honestly so well-planned from start to finish. We had drumsticks tied to our chairs that we wondered about until the song came on...then we knew what to do!
We headed back to the buses, where we thought back about everything from the week. Benay summed it up beautifully:
On our way to the airport, we knew that for Israel, this was not goodbye, but “l’Hitraot,” or see you again soon. 

Day 10: Back to Reality

It has been hard to put the trip in words. In my mind, on a very simplistic level, this was a journey that combined the spiritualness I feel during a yoga class with Judaism. As I went to my yoga class that day, I couldn't help but notice the parallels:
  • Mountain pose; the minute I stepped off the plane and onto Israeli ground
  • Deep and difficult poses that were hard to stay in, with sweat pouring down my face; Yad Vashem was hard to listen to, tears pouring down my face
  • Repeat that difficult sequence on the other side; going to One Family after Yad Vashem
  • Strong warrior pose; Strength on Masada and Israeli soldiers

  •  Sweat in my eyes; salt in the Dead Sea;


  •  Twisting; braiding the Challah


  •  Heart beating fast; beating of our drumsticks at the Mega Event


  • Camel pose (lean way back!); this picture

    • Wash it all away with a Vinyasa; get the tears out and process with everyone
    • Gentle touch by yoga instructor; Bruchy checking in with each of us making sure we were okay
    • Balance poses; holding up my friends who needed strength
    • Child's pose; how will I bring this back to my son and my son's children?
    • Handstand; it's not All or Nothing. Try and do your best
    • It's hot. Drinking water; Masada - David telling us, it's hot; drink water
    • Jumping forward; jumping over people in seats on El Al - lol
    • Saying "OM" in sequence; singing Salaam together
    • Wheel; opening up my heart at the Kotel
    • Chair pose, or lightning bolt pose; Israeli pride 
    • Savasana; Shabbat
    I'm not suggesting that yoga and Judaism can be compared, I'm only saying that for me, the closest thing I have ever felt to the spiritualness one feels in Israel is when I've gone to a good yoga class, but it is only about 1% of that spiritualness. There is only one way to get that feeling, and that is to go to Israel - no matter what religion you are. What are you waiting for?

    Thursday, August 4, 2016

    A #JWRP Trip That Has Changed My Life Exponentially, part 2




    "What sweat is for the body, tears are for the soul."

    First, I have to talk about the bus. For our entire trip, we (Palm Beach Gardens) were on the same bus as Boca, Stuart, and a small Israeli group from Alexander Muss High School. Truly, we were blessed. We loved being together as the entire group from Florida, but we were so fortunate to have five of the friendliest Israelis you could imagine on our bus: Orit, Judy, Tammy, Rachelle, and Inbal. We rode together for hours, which you would think could feel like forever, but our Go Inspire guides: Ken, Patrick, David, and Ayala told us fascinating tidbits of where we were headed. Perhaps even more importantly, they told us their stories, from making aliyah to telling us about near death experiences, we were captivated as a whole. Our lovely bus leader, Orlie talked to us about her 8 kids and we LOVED her side job of designing earrings. Several of us took a bit of her home with those beautiful laser cut earrings. The overall bus leader, Estee, brought us all to tears with her story of having 14 children, two of whom were taken in as foster children when she and her husband knew they had no choice but to do so after their mother died. City leaders told stories and answered questions about what it's like to go to a Mikvah. Israelis told us their life stories and why they came to Israel or what it was like for them growing up in Israel. Bus mates got up and spoke about very personal stories that made us all cry. We may have been 50 + tourists on that bus, but we became one strong entity by the end of that trip. We even created a facebook group of only the members of the bus, and many of us are now facebook friends. It will certainly not be the last time we see one another.

    Patrick
    Orlie
    Estee


    Day 4 Theme: Privilege and Responsibility

    The day started as we visited Yad Vashem, Israel’s Holocaust Museum. We had a fantastic tour guide (Ayala) who walked us through the galleries, narrating all that happened from beginning to end. Walls were covered with artifacts and pictures that stuck in our minds and gave us a visual picture of how Jews lived (or didn't) during the Holocaust. We ended with the Hall of Names, where we stood in a dome covered with pictures of those who perished. It was chilling and there really were no words. We hugged, we cried, we remembered. I have chills as I write this. Many of us did not know one another when we started this trip, but we all had this in common: we had family members who perished in the Holocaust, and we would never forget. The most chilling moment, perhaps, was when we were in the children's memorial. This memorial was housed in an underground cavern and is a tribute to the approximately 1.5 million children who were murdered in the Holocaust. Walking through the dark cave, with candles lit everywhere and names of the children being read one by one, was truly one of the saddest things I have ever experienced. But I am stronger for it. We were asked what we thought the artistic sculpture of white columns,  shown below. Answers were: lives cut short, older kids looking after younger, standing straight amongst the pain and suffering, etc. I think they were all right. We were also asked about the sculpture, at the top of this blog, left, of Janusz Korczak, who stayed with his orphans and refused freedom when they were sent from The Ghetto to the Treblinca extermination camp. It was so moving, as we all saw how big he was depicted in the artist's rendition and how thin and filled with sorrow the orphans were. 
    Uziel perished in the Holocaust at two and half years old, and the Children's Memorial at Yad Vashem was built with the generous donations made by his parents
    We got on the bus in grief and headed to our volunteer experience at One Family. One Family is a leading organization that supports families of the bereaved or injured in terrorist attacks. We were not sure what to expect, but when we watched the video of many family members telling their stories of how they lost their loved ones due to terrorism, we knew this was a day for non-stop crying.
    Several of us felt helpless as we listened to their stories. One account involved a very handsome young man named Daniel. He was a soldier and we saw several playful pictures of him with his family or of him playing the guitar. He was killed in combat. His mother came to speak with us. When we were so down and sad, listening to his story, she miraculously lifted us up. Her spirit was unbreakable. Although she went through so much devastation, she was inspiring, and she was able to live through Daniel by speaking to people about One Family. Daniel's mother told us a story of how his commander (yelling, "Mendel!") made him carry a very heavy weapon for miles. It was an impossible burden for him, but he did it. When his mother heard of his passing (three soldiers showed up at her door), she felt the same impossible burden on her shoulders from G-d. She made a decision to use her pain to propel forward to do positive in Daniel's memory. How? Why? In her words, "Just like my son took orders from his commanding officer in the army, I am taking orders from my commanding officer...I'm doing it not for Daniel but for all of the Jews. Please do something good and nice in Daniel's memory - do a mitzvah." She reminded us that we as Jews internalize the pain and transfer it into positive energy to bring more light into the world, to create organizations, and to help others (thank you to Bruchy for reminding me of her words.) One of our members was so inspired, she said her daughter would be raising money in honor of Daniel for her Bat Mitzvah project. We were touched and moved by her strength. We cried together, but particularly moving was noticing our Israeli women in the room with us whose very own children were currently serving in the army. There was not a dry eye.
    http://jewishmiracles.insightonthenews.net/?p=181
    Below is the video about Daniel.
    We switched gears and made rugelach for the One Family children, and then had a wonderful salad lunch.


    We then left to tour the Old City of Jerusalem, heading through the Jaffa Gate. Here we got to meet and thank soldiers and give them care packages, but we are not allowed post pictures from that experience. It was a perfect way to give back after going to One Family.

    A mural depicting the old and the new
    The Jewish Quarter

















    We headed back for our lecture with Lori: Connecting to the Power of Prayer. Here are some bullet points: 
    • There are 4 steps to prayer: RPAT
    • R - recognize there is a G-d. 
    • G-d needs nothing. You don't need to get a gift for someone who has it all.
    • He can't receive, he can only give.
    • Lori's son said, "please/thank you/excuse me" for a cookie because he didn't know which to say, just that he had to say something
    • P - we all like praise. Not for G-d, for us.
    • A - don't be afraid to ask G-d. 
    • Not bothering G-d. Ask for the little things.
    • What do you want and why do you want it.
    • Lori shared with us about how she donated her kidney to someone she did not know
    • T - thank him.
    I have not yet watched this video yet, but I will. It is of Lori and is about why she donated her kidney to a stranger: 


    Finally: The Kotel. The Western Wall. We were here in Old Jerusalem, and we went to the top of the Aish building to look at the beautiful wall. It was mesmerizing, to say the least. Again, words cannot describe the feeling of seeing the Kotel and all the people praying there for the first time. The walls are filled with little notes containing prayers from people around the world. There is a dividing wall between the men and the women. There is so much history, so much feeling inside of you that there truly are no words when you see it--not just for the first time, but anytime. We cried again, and some of us joked that after today, we could be wrung out. What a touching, meaningful day all around.



    Finally, we went back to our hotel and left for Ben Yahuda Street. This was a bustling street that made us feel so alive and free. It was like any city street: New York, Boston, etc. There were shops everywhere, and we walked until we found a great place to sit and have dinner. There was a live band with a fiddler and we got up and danced with several people, but a lively old man stood out, and we danced with him quite a bit. It was a great way to end the night, and again, our minds raced until we finally fell asleep, feeling more complete than we had when we began the day.



    Photobombed by a rabbi!

    Wednesday, August 3, 2016

    A #JWRP Women's Trip to Israel That Has Changed My Life Exponentially - part 1


    Dinner at Decks - we danced the night away!
    Although my trip to Israel has ended, my journey has just begun. Nine days ago, I embarked on a trip with 10 women that I hardly knew. By the end of the trip, we knew who was the vegetarian, who was gluten free, who drank red, white, rose, or only wanted a smidge, who had a CVS store unpacked from their suitcase, and who lived out of their suitcase. But more importantly, we learned that each one of us had a story--some story that either haunted us or strengthened us or both. The bond we share now is stronger than we ever could have imagined—if one girl is hurt, we all hurt. If one girl smiles with her heart shining, so do we all. And the trip will not end here. Israel is forever in our heart, and we will continue to pay it forward in some way both individually and together as a group.

    Our journey began really when we all met for dinner at JFK airport. Many of us had flown separately to get there, so it wasn’t until we sat for dinner that we had the chance to talk—nervous and excited chatter filled the air like the wine filled our cups. One girl, however, broke down upon meeting us. Something had happened that made her question whether she should be on this trip right there and now. I think she was seriously thinking of turning back to PBI. This was not the first time we all had met. We had gotten together three times with our wonderful city leader Bruchy, but we were not yet close. But this moment sealed the deal for our group. One by one, we all told our new friend that this journey was meant for her and that we all supported her. Some, I think, made her feel like she was not alone. By the time we got on the plane, we felt like sisters on a trip together, ready to support each other on this JWRP's all women's trip to Israel, our homeland.

    Day 1 Theme: The Power of Speech

    The afternoon of our arrival in Israel, we were greeted at Ben Gurion Airport with signs and lots of cheering and pictures. After we transferred to the Leonardo Tiberias Hotel in Tiberias, we were welcomed by the colorful, lively Tzippy, our trip director. She challenged us to stay connected and not to pretend to be listening or to be busy. Tzippy introduced us to Lori Palatnik, our trip leader, the mastermind behind JWRP and one of the original “Utah 8.” Each of Lori’s lectures was as valuable to us as the history lessons at all of the landmarks that we visited. She made us laugh and cry, and what she said resonated with us and made us look within ourselves to know we had the tools for self-understanding and improvement. We thoroughly looked forward to them each day as she captivated us with story after story.

    The first talk was on “Gossip, Lies, and Lessons.” Above is a video of the talk from a different year.

    Here, Lori told us to focus on what we have in common, not what divides us. We should leave our uncommonalities at the door. Here are some bullet points from her talk:
    ·            According to Jewish law, if we are told we have to kill someone, we kill ourselves first.
    ·            Gossip, slander, and rumor is like a triple murder: you kill the person you are talking about in the eyes of the one you’re speaking to; you kill yourself in the eyes of the listener; and the crime you are most guilty of is in the listener because the crime would not have happened without you.
    ·            Gossip is like a fired bullet
    ·            They don’t call it “the dirt” or “the lowdown” for nothing
    ·            What can you do if someone starts to gossip? Change the subject, start talking about family, or walk away
    ·            You want to be the kind of person that people stop talking about gossip when you walk in
    ·            There are three sides to every story: her side, his side, and the truth
    ·            G-d judges us on how we judge others
    ·            Be extra open and sensitive to others
    ·            Look for the person who is not connected and bring them in. Find the best part of you
    ·            Gossip is any form of communication that reflects negatively unless there is a positive constructive purpose
    ·            Go to the person who can make a difference
    ·            Only say what’s necessary and know the difference between fact and fiction (one person’s date from hell is another person’s Prince Charming)
    ·            “For every pot, there is a lid”

    Then Lori gave us a red rubber bracelet to wear that said: “Don’t blame, don’t complain.” We were given the task to wear it for three weeks and if we blamed or complained, we were to switch the bracelet from one wrist to the other so that we were cognitively aware that we did it.

    I remember what Bruchy told me when I was frustrated at the airport: Judge only on the positive or don’t judge at all…this is what Lori was talking about, too. I need to work on this for sure!

    That night, we dressed up and went to a restaurant called Decks on the Kineret. The view over the sea was spectacular, and the excitement among the 200 women was buzzing. We started dancing, feeling free, letting our guards down, and enjoying the evening in the company of only women and a few male madrichs and guards. We danced all night and ate the most wonderful food: salmon, hummus, and Israeli salads were passed around the table, and delicious wine was flowing. No detail was left unfinished: fireworks set off from a nearby boat made the night even more magical. What a day. We were home.
    Here is a video of 200 women dancing on that first night at Decks. Below that is the final video of the entire experience from JWRP.

    Day 2 Theme: Sparks

    As stated in our journal today, “ The Kabbalistic masters of Tsfat taught that there are sparks of holiness and connection everywhere; the challenge is opening our eyes and hearts to see them. As we tour the beautiful synagogues and mikvah of Tsfat, we reflect on how to see, and renew, the sparks in our relationships and our marriage.”

    Here are some notes from Lori’s talk on “The Kabbala of Love”:
    ·            Who your kids marry is the most important decision of their lives
    ·            Must define marriage – “oneness”
    ·            G-d splits us like a puzzle; we each have half a soul – opposites attract
    ·            You don’t grow through easy qualities of kids or spouse; they are the cherry and whipped cream! Enjoy!
    ·            Don’t resent differences; embrace them – they are an opportunity for growth
    ·            Love is the emotion you feel when you focus in on virtues of others and choose to identify them with those virtues
    ·            You never fall out of love with your kids
    ·            Gotta “be all in”
    ·            Love is: what’s important to you is important to me
    ·            The more you give, the more you love. Takers are happy in the short run.
    ·            We give and give to a baby – the more you give, the more you love. Giving leads to loving
    ·            Don’t wait to give love to a spouse
    ·            Wisdom is learning it and knowing how to apply it
    ·            Three questions to answer yes to in order to know this is “the one”:
    o   Do you have the same meaningful life goals?
    o   Are you physically attracted to each other? How he treats us outside the bedroom is directly related to how he treats us in the bedroom (men look at this differently) Dress up when he gets home. Freshen up. Be the best of yourself
    o   Do you respect him? When he comes home, get off the phone. Don’t be critical/nagging when they get home. If you respect him, he will become the man you respect. A man’s job is to make you happy. Build him and don’t deflate him.
    ·            This is for eternity.

    We toured the mystical city of Tsfat, perched on a mountaintop in the Upper Galilee and home to many famous kabbalists and scholars. Ken from https://goinspire.com/ was an excellent tour guide. We then toured Mikvah facilities and learned about the important ritual of going to the Mikvah and how it strengthens the relationship between husband and wife. The women who spoke were very frank and funny and professional. I think it made many of us consider going to one at least once.

    We shopped and had lunch on our own and it was here that I had my first (of many) falafel and hummus sandwiches. The food in Israel is so fresh and I did not worry at all about carb counting or fried food – it was too delicious to pass up!
    A synagogue in Tzfat

    Spotted in Tsfat: Palm Beach Federation!
    Mikvah 101
    What a mikvah looks like in Tsfat


    More Mikvah explanations
    We departed for dinner at Dubrovin Farm, where we met in groups according to the numbers on our tags. This was the first and only time we did not sit with our group, and it was great to meet women from all around the world: Israel, Long Island, Hungary, Kansas City, Stuart, Boca, Detroit, Rockville, and South Bend. After a wonderful outside dinner on the farm that looked like a dream wedding, Tzippy got up and spoke about a personal tragedy that she had overcome, which without getting too much into it, is that she is BRCA 1 positive. I sat in my seat quietly sobbing, as I shared her personal tragedy and have never spoken about it publicly. The woman on my right, whom I had only met moments ago, offered me her tissues and her gentle touch, which comforted me. I got up after Tzippy’s speech and told her that I, too, am BRCA 1 positive, and have watched as my aunt, mother, and cousin have all passed from either breast or ovarian cancer far too young. Tzippy asked me if I had the courage to speak in front of all 200 women about my personal experience, and luckily I did not have much time to think about it. I did, and it was cathartic, having never publicly spoken about it before. Afterward, my group of girls and several others came over to hug me, many with tears in their eyes. Some of them shared their personal experiences. Although I am not quite ready to blog about my full experience, I encourage all women with breast or ovarian cancer in their families to get genetic testing at the very least. More knowledge is power.
    I am speaking about my experience being
    BRCA 1 positive
    Tzippy encouraging me to speak to the group






    After dinner at Dubrovin Farm
    Jacquie posing with her pashmina as a headwrap
    Here is a video of 200 women trying to pose for a picture at Dubrovin Farm - no easy feat!

    Day 3 Theme: The Power of Dreams

    We packed to get ready to go to Tel Aviv, and then Lori gave a lecture on “Discovering the Real You”
    Here are her bullet points:
    ·            Greater than loving someone is understanding them
    ·            You can’t help someone realize their potential until you understand them
    ·            You need to raise kids their way
    ·            When you “get” your kid, you see them
    ·            There is a system of understanding that is Torah based: wisdom, action, kindness
    ·            There are three main personality types. Everyone has all three of them both in soul and body, but there is one that is your default.
    ·            For your soul, it is where you get the most pleasure. For your body, it’s where it goes when you are not mindful.
    ·            Most people have body one type, soul another; otherwise you are “double trouble” and must strive for more balance
    ·            Soul: drives you, where you get the most pleasure
    o   Chaim: Jacob. The pleasure of understanding. Thinker: smart, out of the box. March to the beat of a different drummer. Not good with rules, structure, authority. Their pleasure is thinking, seeking wisdom. They are complicated, introverted, have few friends but deep and meaningful; unusual taste. They don’t have an easy time in life—not understood. They think “half-empty.” Systems don’t appreciate them. They have funny, dry and not slapstick humor.
    o   Bracha: Abraham. The pleasure of connecting. Extrovert but not always; love people, happy, optimistic. They miss out on the depth of people and ideas. They make everyone happy but compromise ideas; “half-full.”
    o   Tov: Isaac. The pleasure of doing the right thing. Willing to die for G-d. Know what you’re willing to die for so you know what you’re willing to live for. Drive to do the right thing. Black and white. “Invented” authority, rules. Loyal in their friend circle. Tough and strong Judgmental-think they are being helpful but point out where you’re wrong. Critical. They run the world and respect other Tovs. They arrive on time and are tense and want to do the right thing. Must work on themselves to give people space.
    ·            Body: when you are not mindful, here is where you go
    o   Chaim: Sensitive, picks up on people and body language. Good therapist. Walking barometer – always aware. Sponge – take in sadness. Aware when being shunned. Observer. They are great friends. Sometimes use substance abuse to buffer awareness.
    o   Bracha: Pleasure, comfortable clothes, one with the couch, “pillow blankie,” lazy, late, no watches
    o   Tov: Action, accomplishment, running and doing, so busy, say yes to all, must prioritize. When people cancel on them, they are very disappointed.
    ·            G-d says you are the way you are, now change. You can’t change people, only the environment.
    ·            Polish the diamonds to bring out potential
    ·            Make an effort to understand others, since greater than loving someone is understanding him or her.
    ·            We tend to marry people who have different personalities than our own. This helps us to bring out our potential. Don’t resent your spouse’s differences, celebrate them.
    I think that I am a double Tov, and double is trouble, so I have a lot of work to do!

    Upon arrival in Tel Aviv, we toured Old Jaffa, but the highlight of the day was definitely visiting Na Lagaat, which means “Please Touch” in Hebrew. First, two deaf people taught us how to sign a few things and this was touching and comedic, as they lovingly made fun of us for not following their signs perfectly. Then we watched a deaf-blind woman steal the show in an artistic play called Say Orange. It was about her losing her sight, and it pulled our heartstrings and touched us all. We then spoke to both her and her interpreter after the show. Her smile went from ear to ear, and it was incredible to witness her joy when we heard about her children and life through an interpreter. She was so completely inspiring, and then we heard from a woman in our group who was so moved because she is blind in one eye and is possibly going blind in her other. To see how every part of this trip, from the lessons to the locations to the programs, could move us all is only something you can truly understand, I think if sharing the same experiences with 199 other women. Afterward, we enjoyed amazing fresh Israeli food served by deaf members of Na Lagaat, which was an incredible experience.
    Bat Sheva, the incredible star of Say Orange
    We left for Beit Haatzmaut, or Independence Hall and toured the street and learned about the establishment of the state of Israel. More can be found here

    We departed for Jerusalem and checked into the King Solomon Hotel and walked to the old train station a restaurant called Fresh, where we ate a lovely Israeli dinner, drank wine, and shared dessert. We shopped at a few outside vendors and went home, unable to sleep. Unable to sleep, my roommate and I chatted well into the night, our minds filled with wonderment.

    Do you want to apply for this trip? Find the link here.